Tuesday Review: Plant Head Protein Powder

Welcome to the first installment of a new feature here at the blog: The Tuesday Review!

Each week, on Tuesdays obviously, I will post a review about something I have recently experienced – be it a product, book, blog, website, restaurant, hangout, or anything worth reviewing. I don’t know what all may come out of this, but I can promise that each and every review will be candid and honest.

Now, I tend to lean toward the positive but sometimes things really just suck. And unfortunately, that is the case with today’s subject of review.

Plant Head Protein Powder

(To be specific: I tried the vanilla, but in this case, it was so awful that there is zero chance I will try the chocolate or any other variety.)

I have been on a serious health mission for more than four years now which has included the trial of all sorts of supplements, certainly a hefty variety of protein powders. There is one that I still swear by and recommend highly. And there are others that I tried and said “eh” which may have been used a couple times before eventually finding their way to the back of my supplement shelf until the next cabinet purge.

This one though, was so terrible that I actually pulled my trash bag out of the bin and dug through it to find the receipt from Vitamin Shoppe and return it.

Yes. I dug through trash two days later and drove all the way back to the store to return an already-opened canister of protein powder.

Note that I have never in my life had the audacity to return an open supplement of any sort. I have a sort of personal policy that supplements are “try at your own risk” and no retailer deserves to be handed back an open container of such partially used items.

This past weekend however, I cancelled said policy and took this crap back from whence it came.

(Note: Vitamin Shoppe was excellent about accepting the return. Because the item was opened, they could only give me store credit but since I spend an obscene amount of money at that place, it is a non-issue here. I will surely get my $24 back in other goods. Vitamin Shoppe is an AWESOME chain and I love them dearly. The negative aspect of this review should not reflect on them at all because they are absolutely great in every way.)

Now back to the powder.

This stuff has an impressive label. (And you *know* that I am a label-hound. I ready every little piece of those suckers and compare them against every similar one there is.) So this one, after much deliberation, won my purchase. It was raw vegan, gluten free, non-GMO, and also free of soy, dairy, artificial ingredients, and preservatives. The amino acid profile was solid, it had a blend of protein varieties (hemp, pea, rice, algalin, etc), and the given grams of said protein were good. The only thing I would’ve liked to see is a bit more fiber, but I let it go because the pros appeared to outweigh the cons.

Unfortunately though, that was not the case.

The first thing this protein powder did wrong was ruin my banana bread. And I love banana bread, people. Its one of my favorite things in the whole world. Want me to like you? Bring homemade banana bread, it practically guarantees our friendship.

Not to mention, baking with vanilla protein powder is usually a pretty safe bet. You can typically replace 1/4 to 1/2 cup of the amount of flour called for with vanilla protein powder and come out with great results. In this case, I went modest and used a 1/4 cup of the stuff only for my banana bread to come out tasting like dry, disgusting crap!! And God as my witness, I have never made a bad banana bread. EVER.

So ruining my banana bread was Offense #1.

But I figured I would give it the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe it just wasn’t heat-friendly for some reason. So the next morning I tossed a scoop of it into my otherwise gloriously perfect morning smoothie. Another thing I love in this world is my smoothie. Kale, three different kinds of berries, banana, ground flaxseed, a splash of OJ, and water. This is my go-to morning happiness.

But with a scoop of this repulsive powder, my smoothie was RUINED.

Ruined, I tell you. I could not even drink it. And I tried, oh man, did I try. I took the initial gulp with all kinds of excitement….followed by wretched disappointment. But I wasn’t about to waste a perfectly good bunch of kale, berries, and everything else. So I said “suck it up, Danielle” and carried it with me to finish getting ready as I always do.

Another drink. More disgust.

One last good shot at it, and I just. Could. Not. It was terrible.

It smells pretty good, which is sadly misleading because it makes you think it is going to taste good too. But it tastes like nothing you’d ever want in your mouth. And the level of chalkiness is incomparable. I have had other vegan protein powders, and yes, they tend to be a little more chalky than your typical whey powder, but they’re palatable. This shit IS NOT.

I can’t even tell you what it tastes like. It is not a grassy or plant kind of taste. It is something alien and otherworldly.
And seriously, the chalk factor. I mean, for crying out loud, it ruined banana bread!!! That’s almost impossible.
Then what it did to my smoothie was absolutely the worst thing in the world.

SO BOTTOM LINE:

I wouldn’t recommend this stuff to an enemy, let alone a friend.

Don’t waste your money. There are far better options out there.

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© Danielle Hewitt (of Loving A Fit Life) and DanielleHewitt.com (including LovingAFitLife.com) 2011 – 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Danielle Hewitt and DanielleHewitt.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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